It is very easy to put your partner last on your priority list, especially during the busiest season of life when you have kids in the house, jobs, and constant obligations… maybe this is why the unhappiest age is 47! The tendency to put your partner last is why I’ve written this post, which is a takeoff of a post I wrote many years ago about how to show your kids you love them even when you’re very busy! For each point, I include the way to show a child you love them… and then the equivalent for adults. Remember, no matter how old you are, every adult wants on some level to be cared for like a beloved child, which is what reparenting is all about.
1. Notes in unexpected places. For this one, I wrote:
This is literally the same thing for adults! No addenda necessary! Pictures are cute as well, even though your partner can read!
2. Stickers.
I’m not going to recommend that you buy special stickers for your partner… but you can buy some other little gift that they would like. Special coffee? A notepad? A key ring? Little gifts that recognize special things about your partner (e.g., quirks, preferences) are an awesome way to show you’re thinking about your partner and that you love them.
3. Journal. For this one, I wrote:
This can be translated into text for your partner! Showing appreciation is key, as I discuss all over my blog, like here. A couple times a week, thank your partner for something they did for you that you notice and appreciate. This is a wonderful way to show recognition and love.
4. “Tattoo.”
Instead of drawing your child a special little picture on the inside of their arm, you can literally get a tattoo. I have two tattoos that I got that relate to my husband, which I got after he got similar ones about me! Here’s the date of our anniversary:
Of course this isn’t a “quick little thing,” so you can use the theme of showing you love your partner with something related to your body by wearing clothes you know they like or buying clothes for them.
5. Kiss box. For kids, I said,
For adults, take a page out of my own husband’s book and buy this for your partner! This was a cute gift that I keep on my desk, and my husband sends a picture to it every so often, at which point it spins and alerts me.
6. Special code.
For kids, I recommended making up a special code with your child that means “I love you.” Many couples have cute little things they do that function in the same way, such as rubbing noses or cuddling in a certain way (e.g., spooning). (If you want to move this into the X rated arena, a “special code” can be a safe word.)
7. Special book. For kids, I suggested:
I recommend all the time that couples watch movies and TV together and have special shows that they watch and discuss. Books are great too. Any media that both of you enjoy together brings you closer, even reality TV, as discussed here.
8. Aluminum foil animal.
This is a hit with kids, and my husband is or pretends to be impressed with my aluminum foil animals as well. If your partner isn’t as indulgent then you can create something else for them, like baking them cookies, making them a sandwich, or really creating any object for them to appreciate or consume.
9. Special spy names.
With your partner, instead of spy names, this would be pet names. At the very least, go back to calling them “sweetheart” or “honey” if you used to do this and got away from it over the years. Special names make people feel known and loved, and it’s a private thing that both of you share.
10. Special song.
For a child, I recommended making up a special song or changing a song’s lyrics to be about your child. But, for adults, it would be romantic and cute to send your partner a song that makes you think of them, or link them to “your” song (e.g., first dance at your wedding, or any song that is special to you both) during the work day.
Hopefully I’ve made my point that small, every day things can be very special when shared by people who love each other, whether these are parents with their children or partners. Use some of these ideas today to make your partner smile! And till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says, What’s The Matter With Your Eyes, That’s An Obvious Duck.
1. Notes in unexpected places. For this one, I wrote:
This is literally the same thing for adults! No addenda necessary! Pictures are cute as well, even though your partner can read!
2. Stickers.
I’m not going to recommend that you buy special stickers for your partner… but you can buy some other little gift that they would like. Special coffee? A notepad? A key ring? Little gifts that recognize special things about your partner (e.g., quirks, preferences) are an awesome way to show you’re thinking about your partner and that you love them.
3. Journal. For this one, I wrote:
This can be translated into text for your partner! Showing appreciation is key, as I discuss all over my blog, like here. A couple times a week, thank your partner for something they did for you that you notice and appreciate. This is a wonderful way to show recognition and love.
4. “Tattoo.”
Instead of drawing your child a special little picture on the inside of their arm, you can literally get a tattoo. I have two tattoos that I got that relate to my husband, which I got after he got similar ones about me! Here’s the date of our anniversary:
Of course this isn’t a “quick little thing,” so you can use the theme of showing you love your partner with something related to your body by wearing clothes you know they like or buying clothes for them.
5. Kiss box. For kids, I said,
For adults, take a page out of my own husband’s book and buy this for your partner! This was a cute gift that I keep on my desk, and my husband sends a picture to it every so often, at which point it spins and alerts me.
6. Special code.
For kids, I recommended making up a special code with your child that means “I love you.” Many couples have cute little things they do that function in the same way, such as rubbing noses or cuddling in a certain way (e.g., spooning). (If you want to move this into the X rated arena, a “special code” can be a safe word.)
7. Special book. For kids, I suggested:
I recommend all the time that couples watch movies and TV together and have special shows that they watch and discuss. Books are great too. Any media that both of you enjoy together brings you closer, even reality TV, as discussed here.
8. Aluminum foil animal.
This is a hit with kids, and my husband is or pretends to be impressed with my aluminum foil animals as well. If your partner isn’t as indulgent then you can create something else for them, like baking them cookies, making them a sandwich, or really creating any object for them to appreciate or consume.
9. Special spy names.
With your partner, instead of spy names, this would be pet names. At the very least, go back to calling them “sweetheart” or “honey” if you used to do this and got away from it over the years. Special names make people feel known and loved, and it’s a private thing that both of you share.
10. Special song.
For a child, I recommended making up a special song or changing a song’s lyrics to be about your child. But, for adults, it would be romantic and cute to send your partner a song that makes you think of them, or link them to “your” song (e.g., first dance at your wedding, or any song that is special to you both) during the work day.
Hopefully I’ve made my point that small, every day things can be very special when shared by people who love each other, whether these are parents with their children or partners. Use some of these ideas today to make your partner smile! And till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says, What’s The Matter With Your Eyes, That’s An Obvious Duck.